Roast of the Movie
Films, series, streaming platforms and cinema habits, reviewed with a little patience and a low tolerance for expensive nonsense. The archive covers what works on screen, what collapses under its own marketing and why the experience around a story can matter as much as the story itself. Expect spoilers to be handled carefully, franchises to answer for themselves and cinema sound to receive the respect it keeps invoicing us for.
Mortal Kombat II: IMAX Blood, Arcade Brain, Fine Enough
Mortal Kombat II gets the IMAX roar, Johnny Cage jokes and game nostalgia right, while proving a button-mash plot can still earn applause.
The Devil Wears Prada 2 And The Luxury Cinema Bottleneck
A sharp roast of The Devil Wears Prada 2, sequel culture, luxury theatre scarcity, AI slop, fashion branding and cinema’s expensive nostalgia machine.
Exit 8 Finds Horror in One Corridor and Eight Bad Choices
Exit 8 turns one sterile subway corridor into a Japanese soul audit, proving a tiny game adaptation can haunt harder than loud western spectacle…
Michael: The IMAX Moonwalk Through Cinema’s Funeral Ads
Michael dazzles in IMAX, while pre-film streaming adverts make cinema look like it is rehearsing its own funeral in surround sound, one subscription at…
Lee Cronin’s The Mummy: IMAX Gauze, Small Scares, No Soul
Lee Cronin’s The Mummy is roasted as IMAX-sized possession horror: gross, loud, overlong, and barely a mummy beneath all that expensive gauze and dust.
Super Mario Galaxy and Cinema’s Premium-Format Fossil Club
The Super Mario Galaxy Movie made a billion while cinemas still ration sharp projection and strong sound through costly premium-format upgrades in 2026.
The Drama turns wedding nerves into an upscale headache
Zendaya and Robert Pattinson headline a wedding meltdown that confuses provocation with depth, turning subscription cinema into a very expensive shrug.
Fuze and the Quiet Downgrade of Cinema Once IMAX Is Gone
Fuze is a brisk British thriller, but once IMAX is gone, standard cinema starts competing with the sofa on comfort, price and reasons to…
They Will Kill You review: Satanic splatter on autopilot
They Will Kill You roast, a 94-minute satanic splatter film that mistakes blood for wit, noise for style, and cult chic for anything like…
One roast at a time
No spam. No motivational soup. Just the latest receipt when it is ready.