The Modern Hermit: Roasts and Sense Checks
RM, author and modern hermit
A quiet corner of the web for film roasts, streaming nonsense, tech hype, and reality checks on modern life.
Latest Roasts
- Baby AGI, Kid AGI, and the Locked Nursery Behind the Demo
A fact-led roast of Baby AGI, Mythos, and reported Spud: glossy public demos below, stronger models upstairs, and hallucinations still on the payroll. - The Drama turns wedding nerves into an upscale headacheZendaya and Robert Pattinson headline a wedding meltdown that confuses provocation with depth, turning subscription cinema into a very expensive shrug.
- Fuze and the quiet downgrade of cinema once IMAX is goneFuze is a decent British thriller, but the real roast is cinema itself: if it is not IMAX, your sofa, your TV and your tea are already winning the fight.
- Brexit’s Bagholders: Workers Pay, Schemers Cash Out AgainBrexit was sold as sovereignty and stuck workers with the invoice. A fact-led roast of the grift, the reset, and the rich still calling it victory today.
- They Will Kill You review: Satanic splatter on autopilotThey Will Kill You roast, a 94-minute satanic splatter film that mistakes blood for wit, noise for style, and cult chic for anything like real cinema.
- Prompt Engineers and the Church of Dumb Smart AI ModelsA sharp sense check on prompt engineering and AGI hype: if models still need packed skills and clarifying rules, stop selling them as prophets.
- The Magic Faraway Tree and the big-screen babysitter problem
A fact-led roast of The Magic Faraway Tree, a family fantasy that sells nature, wifi withdrawal and countryside virtue with more sofa charm than cinema scale. - Ready or Not 2 turns satanic satire into sequel sludge
Ready or Not 2 piles satanic parody, gore and sequel noise onto a follow-up that forgets recaps, injuries and why the first film worked at all. - Project Hail Mary and the Great Cinema Seat Nuisance TaxProject Hail Mary dazzles in IMAX, but the real sci-fi horror is modern cinema: cramped rows, popcorn warfare and premium prices for neck strain.
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