Roast of the Movie
Films, series, streaming platforms and cinema habits, reviewed with a little patience and a low tolerance for expensive nonsense. The archive covers what works on screen, what collapses under its own marketing and why the experience around a story can matter as much as the story itself. Expect spoilers to be handled carefully, franchises to answer for themselves and cinema sound to receive the respect it keeps invoicing us for.

Good Luck, Have Fun, Don’t Die: AI panic, dated already
Gore Verbinski returns with a time-travel AI caper. Big ideas, louder jokes, 134 minutes of tech panic that feels like yesterday’s tomorrow – in…

Pavane on Netflix: Ravel rescues romance from sludge again
Netflix’s Korean film ‘Pavane’ (released 20 Feb 2026) turns Ravel into a life raft for romance, and reminds cinema releases what a soul sounds…

Cold Storage (2026): fungus, flashbacks, and cinema shrinkage!
Cold Storage has timelines, fungus and Neeson quips, but the flashback faces never change. Also, cinemas look suspiciously like your sofa now minus the…

Wuthering Heights (2026): Bronte, but make it thirstier
Emerald Fennell turns Bronte into a glossy, carnal IMAX event. A fact-led roast of the 2026 adaptation starring Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi, with…

Send Help (2026): Corporate Hell Meets Desert Island Comedy
Sam Raimi strands Rachel McAdams and Dylan O’Brien on an island and lets office politics bite. A dark comedy horror that loves gore more…

The Strangers: Chapter 3 (2026) and the recap it dodged entirely
A light roast of The Strangers: Chapter 3, the horror finale that remembers the violence but forgets the recap.

Is This Thing On? (2025) | Open Mic Therapy, Sofa Screen Reality
A comedy-drama that treats stand-up like duct tape for divorce and loneliness, then dares you to pay cinema money for a living-room problem -…

Shelter (2026): Statham punches up the tired template again
Jason Statham delivers the usual fists, dog, kid, and MI6 panic in Shelter. A formulaic action thriller where the only surprise is the green-screen…
One roast at a time
No spam. No motivational soup. Just the latest receipt when it is ready.









