Lede
The real joke is not that Mario made a fortune on a giant screen, but that cinema still treats decent screen and sound quality as a velvet-rope upgrade instead of the basic standard in 2026.
Hermit Off Script
This rant is about cinema, not Mario. Mario is just the cheerful plumber hired to smile while the industry picks your pocket. I enjoyed the colours and sound in IMAX because that is where a film like this belongs when it wants to feel like an event. But that is exactly the problem. Too many multiplexes still offer one or two premium rooms while the rest of the building sits there like a museum of acceptable disappointment.
I am not saying every auditorium must become IMAX. I am saying that a standard screening should still look sharp, sound properly tuned and feel maintained rather than abandoned to justify the surcharge next door. Home screens keep improving, yet cinemas still sell much of their technical progress through velvet ropes, premium labels and a more expensive seat.
Into that business model strolls The Super Mario Galaxy Movie, a bright, noisy, family-friendly sugar comet. It cost USD 110 million and has now earned approximately USD 1.011 billion worldwide. Good business. Thin revelation. Critics and audiences split sharply over it, which almost describes the modern family-blockbuster system by itself: familiar characters, fast movement, polished colour and enough recognition to keep the merchandise smiling.
The issue is not animation. Adults have loved animation for decades when it offers wonder, beauty, sadness, madness or something resembling a pulse. I came out thinking the presentation had done more emotional work than the story. Mario is not the indictment. The indictment is that cinemas can still make the room feel more advanced than the film.
That is not evolution. That is polishing the shrine while the god inside stays plastic.
P.S. Update – 23 July 2026:
The film has now passed USD 1.011 billion worldwide. I am not disputing the receipts. I am saying commercial success does not prove that the script was deep, or that premium formats caused the success. Mario sold the galaxy. The cinema still sold the better room separately.
The Super Mario Galaxy Movie (2026) | Trailer
Movie synopsis
Mario and Luigi are now living in the Mushroom Kingdom, helping Princess Peach and trying to reform a miniaturised, imprisoned Bowser. After meeting Yoshi, they are drawn into a galactic adventure when Bowser Jr. threatens the universe and Rosalina needs rescuing. The journey takes the brothers and their friends beyond the Mushroom Kingdom into new worlds, creatures and cosmic battles.
Cast and credits
Director: Aaron Horvath and Michael Jelenic
Writer: Matthew Fogel
Genre: Animated action comedy and family adventure
Main cast: Chris Pratt, Anya Taylor-Joy, Charlie Day, Jack Black, Keegan-Michael Key, Benny Safdie, Donald Glover, Issa Rae, Luis Guzman, Kevin Michael Richardson and Brie Larson
Composer: Brian Tyler
Production companies: Illumination and Nintendo
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Runtime: 98 minutes
UK rating: PG for mild violence and threat
Release year and platform: Released theatrically on 1 April 2026; released digitally on 19 May 2026
What does not make sense
- A billion-dollar family film can play in almost any auditorium, yet cinemas market the technically strongest presentation as a separate class of ticket.
- Premium formats genuinely cost more, but that does not excuse standard rooms with weak projection, poor calibration or neglected sound.
- Cinema United says North American exhibitors invested USD 1.5 billion in one year, yet the quality of the ordinary auditorium still varies wildly.
- The film earned more than USD 1 billion despite a 42 per cent critic score, proving that brand recognition and audience satisfaction do not require critical agreement.
- Adults are told that criticism is pointless because “it is for children”, although great family animation has never required adults to switch off their standards.
- Mario’s commercial success proves that familiar family entertainment sells. It does not prove premium scarcity created the demand.
- The business keeps adding special rooms while avoiding the less glamorous question: how good should every paid screening be?
Sense check / The numbers
- The Super Mario Galaxy Movie was released in UK cinemas on 1 April 2026, runs for 98 minutes and carries a PG rating for mild violence and threat. [Nintendo] [BBFC]
- The film had a reported USD 110 million production budget and has earned approximately USD 1.011 billion worldwide, including USD 429.81 million domestically. [Box Office Mojo]
- As of 23 July 2026, Rotten Tomatoes lists a 42 per cent critic score and an 88 per cent audience score from more than 10,000 verified ratings. [Rotten Tomatoes]
- IMAX ended 2025 with 1,796 locations worldwide and a backlog of 434 additional systems. [IMAX]
- Cineworld currently lists 26 IMAX-equipped UK cinemas, of which 9 have IMAX with Laser projection. Unlimited members pay a GBP 5 uplift for an IMAX screening. [Cineworld]
The sketch
Scene 1: The Velvet Rope Screen
A tired multiplex has 10 auditoriums. One premium room glows brightly while the other 9 sit in dim light.
Dialogue:
Customer: “Which screen looks good?”
Usher: “The one that costs more.”
Scene 2: Boardroom of the Dinosaurs
Cinema executives polish one premium projector while cobwebs cover the ordinary rooms behind them.
Dialogue:
Executive 1: “Upgrade every room?”
Executive 2: “Then what costs extra?”
Scene 3: The Mascot Does the Work
A plumber-shaped hero pulls a golden ticket cart while a thin screenplay flaps behind it.
Dialogue:
Mascot: “Am I the whole film?”
Cashier: “You’re the premium excuse.”
What to watch, not the show
- Price discrimination dressed as innovation.
- Safe franchise economics over risky technical reinvention.
- Premium formats used as a margin machine, not a universal standard.
- Nostalgia doing the marketing heavy lifting for thinner films.
- Cinemas upgrading selected rooms instead of rethinking the whole baseline experience.
- The quiet fear that if every screen felt premium, the premium surcharge would look naked.
The Hermit take
Premium should feel exceptional. Standard should not feel neglected.
The fossil is not IMAX. It is the baseline left behind.
Keep or toss
Verdict: Keep / Toss.
Keep the colour, sound and family event.
Toss the business model that neglects ordinary rooms, then sells technical care as social class.
Sources
- Official film synopsis and credits: https://www.thesupermariogalaxymovie.com/synopsis/
- Nintendo UK story and release date: https://www.nintendo.com/en-gb/Misc-/The-Super-Mario-Galaxy-Movie-2915226.html
- BBFC runtime and UK classification: https://www.bbfc.co.uk/release/the-super-mario-galaxy-movie-q29sbgvjdglvbjpwwc0xmdmzndy5
- Universal digital-release announcement: https://www.universalpicturesathome.com/press-release/the-super-mario-galaxy-movie-press-release
- Box Office Mojo current worldwide gross: https://www.boxofficemojo.com/release/rl3344662529/
- Rotten Tomatoes current scores: https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/the_super_mario_galaxy_movie
- AP opening and budget report: https://apnews.com/article/58b52a8aa469d6e7fed889c6762dd3aa
- IMAX full-year 2025 results: https://investors.imax.com/news-releases/news-release-details/imax-corporation-reports-fourth-quarter-and-full-year-2025
- Cinema United investment report: https://cinemaunited.org/2025/09/16/cinema-owners-in-north-america-have-invested-1-5-billion-in-their-theatres-throughout-the-past-year/
- Cineworld UK IMAX locations: https://help.cineworld.co.uk/support/solutions/articles/103000314216/
- Cineworld UK IMAX with Laser locations: https://help.cineworld.co.uk/support/solutions/articles/103000314217/
