Lede
The toilets shine. The excuses smell the same.

What does not make sense

• Refurbished loos but keyboards from the Stone Age.
• Gigabit dreams over a 100 Mbit pipe.
• “Performance reviews” that measure anything but performance.
• Cryptocurrency thank-yous when wages can’t buy juice.
• Four extra days off per month for day shift, but night shift told to “sleep better.”

Sense check

A new locker room does not cure circadian disruption. Studies show night workers sleep two to three hours less than day staff, raising risks for heart disease, diabetes, and accidents (betterhealth.vic.gov.au). UK trials of the four-day week prove productivity doesn’t fall when rest is respected (theguardian.com). And still, the cry is “too expensive” — while profits somehow keep climbing.

The sketch

• Scene one: CEO points proudly at new toilets: “See? Progress.”
• Scene two: Worker holds up a payslip: unchanged.
• Scene three: Night shift collapses at a desk while the day team leaves for a five-day break.

What to watch, not the show

• Cosmetic upgrades sold as transformation.
• Tech excuses masking a refusal to modernise.
• Health risks of night work brushed aside as “lifestyle.”
• Shiny crypto tokens standing in for wages.

The Hermit take

Respect is not a locker room. It’s fair pay, fair time, and fair rest. Until then, the toilets are just decoration.

Keep or toss

Toss the tokens. Keep the four-day week.