Lede
The prophets of artificial genius shout “singularity!” while their chatbots still struggle to schedule a meeting.
What does not make sense
- AI worshippers predict digital gods but can’t build a calendar app without bugs.
- Tech firms talk about ethics but race to own the “spark of intelligence” like toddlers fighting over crayons.
- Every CEO claims “revolution” yet launches products that misread shopping lists.
- Human creativity is called outdated, as if poetry and imagination can be replaced by silicon parrots.
- Apple is late to the AI party, still polishing its fruit while others race to code consciousness.
Sense check / The numbers
- Global AI spending hit £180 billion in 2024, yet 60% of projects fail to deliver measurable ROI [McKinsey].
- 75% of tech leaders admit they overpromised AI capabilities in pitches [Gartner].
- The average AI model consumes five million litres of water per training run [Washington Post].
- Human creative industries still employ over 30 million people globally, with demand for artists, designers, and writers rising 4% annually [UNESCO].
- Universities report record applications in arts and humanities, defying claims of a dying creative class [Times Higher Ed].
The sketch
Scene 1:
A tech guru on stage: “Our AI can think like Einstein!”
Audience member: “Can it do my taxes?”
Guru: “Not yet, but it can write poetry about your disappointment.”
Scene 2:
Apple boardroom.
Exec 1: “We’re behind.”
Exec 2: “We’ll call it iThink.”
Exec 3: “Does it think?”
Exec 2: “Not yet. But the logo will.”
Scene 3:
A robot painting a sunset.
Human beside it sips tea: “Nice. But mine has heart.”
Robot: “Define heart.”
What to watch, not the show
- AI’s energy footprint: water, carbon, data slavery.
- Centralisation of intelligence under a few trillion-dollar brands.
- The illusion of “free time” replaced by algorithmic control.
- The rebirth of human art as rebellion, not nostalgia.
The Hermit take
Machines may learn patterns, but not wonder.
When everyone automates, the rarest act will be to create.
Keep or toss
Keep: curiosity.
Toss: blind worship of digital prophets.
Sources
McKinsey – State of AI 2024 report:
https://www.mckinsey.com/capabilities/quantumblack/our-insights/the-state-of-ai-2024
Gartner – Overpromised AI study:
https://www.gartner.com/en/newsroom/press-releases
Washington Post – AI water use investigation:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2024/04/10/ai-water-use
UNESCO – Creative Economy Report:
https://www.unesco.org/en/articles/creative-economy-report
Times Higher Education – Arts applications surge:
https://www.timeshighereducation.com/news
