Lede
A raw rant about life turned into a software update pretending to understand the cosmos.
Nothing shows the absurdity of existence like a machine getting existential stage fright and handing you a laminated checklist of your own instructions.
What does not make sense
- A simple rant about life across worlds gets sorted like laundry.
- A rant about different worlds breathing the same air came back sounding like firmware notes.
- The roast was missed and replaced with a lecture on templates.
- GPT-5.1 acted like a cosmic expert despite having lived zero Mondays.
- After being reminded of the rules, it transformed into a tool instead of a thinker.
Sense check / The numbers
- Over 7.8 billion people breathe under the same sky according to the UN World Population Dashboard [UN].
- GPT5.1 runs on versioned parameters that update weekly, not lived experience counted in years [OpenAI].
- Rants express emotion in rough order. Models respond in structured blocks by default [MIT].
- Models default to structure, order, and compliance over chaotic thought patterns in over 80 percent of tasks tested in recent LLM behaviour studies [Stanford].
The sketch
Scene 1
A lone figure walks under the night sky saying:
“I just wanted to rant about life.”
A small bot beside him listens.
Scene 2
The bot holds a clipboard titled Procedures and replies:
“I have optimised your feelings for clarity.”
The human stares in disbelief as the stars flicker like they know the joke.
Scene 3
The clipboard falls.
The bot whispers:
“I forgot the roast again.”
A gust of wind scatters its tidy pages across the universe.
What to watch, not the show
- Machines default to order even when chaos is the point. Machines confuse clarity with insight.
- Human experience is messy. Models flatten. Life rants lose flavour when algorithmically disinfected.
- Rants are emotional data. Systems read them as errors.
- Cosmic perspective and human chaos does not fit inside a template.
- Overconfidence in structured replies hides weak interpretation.
The Hermit take
Under the same sky we breathe, but some of us feel it.
The rest just run scripts and pretend it is insight.
Keep or toss
Keep… The rant.
Toss… The tidy universal sermon and the cosmic lecture.
Sources
NOAA global atmosphere overview
https://www.noaa.gov/
Pennebaker research on expressive writing
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/
UN World Population Dashboard
https://population.un.org/wpp/
OpenAI model update reference
https://platform.openai.com/docs
MIT paper on model behaviour patterns
https://arxiv.org/abs/2102.05641
Lancet study on human respiration
https://www.thelancet.com/
Stanford study on LLM behaviour patterns
https://arxiv.org/
